ShaLLoW DeEp WiThiN - ThE EnCoUnTeR...

Breaking the daylight with darkness, I started to pick the twigs scattered at the forest grounds. I had the whole night to lurk in the mist of the woods, and to seek for warmth, seeking for attention…for I’m cold, as cold as the freezing abyss of my sinister world. I first joined the company of fireflies at the swamp of Avalos where it all happened; where every misery I had first crop up.

I sat at the big boulder killing the time, watching the fireflies as they lit little radiance to the swamp. I had been thinking for several nights about my encounter with a human. It disturbed my quiet existence all at once.

I met “her” at this swamp…at this very swamp. She’s so aloof and detached from those others of her kind. She too had been watching the fireflies that occupy the whole fen, just watching inaudibly… but with this, her beautiful composure contradicts her muffled inward shell.

It was odd for me as specie of a different kind that I did not become aware of her presence…her smell was unbelievably dissimilar from those other human’s smell. It’s not that distinctive and effortless to distinguish, that’s why I stalked and gazed at her from a distance.

The crave of my body for food defies my mind to harm the human…I waited for her to leave the place but even more she came to notice my presence. Anxious and fretful, she looked at me as I stood at the top of the boulder. With a wink of an eye, I moved swift towards her trying to warn her and fall back…but it was useless. I moved even closer with a sharp stare at her, closer and closer…

I suddenly bunged and freezed, her eyes were as brown as mine; it was as brown as the brownest color ever tainted. As I stopped, words from her mouth thaw out my arctic heart…

“Why do you stay in this kind of place? …are you also here for the fireflies?” with voice so gentle and warm.

As to my astonishment, I draw my body back and heed to the fireflies…

“Yeah, I’m here for the fireflies. I can see that you are also here for those little lights.”
“No, I’m here to escape myself from other people.” She replied.

(Silence… as strange sounds from the darkness streaks)

“You must not stay any longer…it’s too dangerous out here.” in my head sensing the others of my kind approaching.

With no options to take, I grabbed and clutched her whole body at my chest as I ran rapidly.
She then was quite embarrassed but out of her mind staring at me, she did not even discern that we’re moving very fast extraordinarily. We reached the nearest road just a matter of seconds, and I dropped her down.

“What are you?!” affronted as she asked.
“It doesn’t matter; you have to go now…” with my heart pounding hard as I felt it for the first time for all the centuries I had gone into this world. I did not even bother to ask her name, we just stared at each other committing to our memory the figure of our visage.

And by then, she left.

A sAd LovE LeTTer

For you,

Before you read this letter of mine, I want you to know that by heart and soul… you’ll never be forgotten, that you’ll never fade in my thinking ‘til the day that dust shall eat my body. This, I wish you should read for nights of relentless and agonizing emotions I draw on, to finish this… I don’t know how to let this words be spoken but through this letter may I be able to say to you… a sad love letter I ever wrote, the saddest of all love letters I made.

………….The more I get rid off of the feeling, the more I get attached from you… your sweetness, your caress, your ever loving stare that melts my entire system. You make me move as if I will not get tired forever. You bloomed the day with great amity and love, you stapled my heart with hope that we’ll stay hand in hand, you made me believe that we’ll love ceaselessly.

But you’re confused… you dragged me into this emotion like a trap that has its pain and winding throbbing. You’re sweetness chased my very nerve to its doom to taste the bitter consequence of expectation. Your “I love you…” twinge this little organ in my chest that constantly seeks for your warmth, your lasting warmth.

At times that my soul needs another soul to hook upon to, you were there. All those memorable memories my wholeness had gone into, you were there. I don’t know why but something special between us keeps the flame of our relationship burning and surviving. You loved me as I had loved you but we parted ways to avoid conflict, to avoid pain.

We’re afraid to let the pain eat us and engulf our minds with hatred and fallacy. You made the choice; you left to escape the pain, to escape the emotion. You left because you don’t want the emotion to grow even more until the time that it can’t be proscribed.

You left without any words or thoughts to say, even a farewell… a formal farewell. We both know the feeling is there, the love is there but how can we nurture such feeling if we both know it’s too late to outburst the axioms of love publicly.

It’s a grave sin both of us will hurdle… that’s why you left, that’s why you run away from me.

I was left with nothing but questions, with nothing except for the memories we had. The good and heartwarming memories; do you remember

the day we first held hands,
the day we first stared at each other,
the day we walked together,
the day we saw a shooting star with hands locked at each other,
the day I first kissed you at the nose,
the day you said you love me and you miss me,
the day you held my back to ease the pain in me,
the night we shared the moment at the beach,
the hours of darkness I looked at you as if you’re the only obsession that surrounds me,
the night we clinched the moment as we gazed at the moon.

Do you remember all those thoughts of love…those untold and undefiled affection we shared.

I’m now facing this piece of shit with my mind tousled… why did you leave? Why…?

As I finish this diminutive epistle, I long to see your grin, your sugary smile even for the last moment…

Even for the last time.

With great hope,
From me.

ShaLLow DeeP WiThiN.,.

These lexis kept on reminding me how two worlds can never collide in murky ways…

“If you choose me over her, you’ll loose everything in your world… but if you choose her instead of me…. you’ll just loose me and no more.”

It kept on repeating on my skull, the thoughts, the memories, the love she offered and still offering to me… How did it end this way? Why did it end this way? Why?

Admonishing to divulge that this is a big mistake, I let it happen between the two of us. I did not give any promise to her; I just stared at her every now and then. The feelings imparted to our very skin began to flourish as the time became erratic. Minutes then turned into hours and into days and weeks even more, fate did its part to meet our paths as often as the sun rises everyday. Leaving the reality on the corners of the shadow and living in world where ennui is deficient, that became the edict of our dispirited liaison.
But I have to formulate a verdict that would possibly finish this fancy; I have to make things right. It’s unhealthy for us to continue this insanity I should say, for it breaks every breathing being as well as the not-human being who witnesses our fender-bender contact.
She’s not one of our kind and the fact that she’s a forbidden matter of our clan, makes my mind outburst and my heart to grow. I have no heart for I was not born for it; but when I began to know and be involved with her…it was nurtured with her magnanimous love.
The moment came when farewell knocks on our door to get her away from me…I want to congeal the time and steal her away, so far away that even any map finder cannot uncover us.

But that’s the way it has to be…

Things have to be done this way…

I have to let go of her to continue my existence; maybe without her presence I can do stuffs I usually do as a nightwalker… she may be gone for now but our paths will soon meet again; I can sense it, it’s skin-crawling.

My name is “Elliot”, I’m a lycanthrope… and this is my story.

SwEet paiN.,.

Everyday is like hostilities to me
They always admonish even though
They’re not in no doubt if really
I committed a mistake.

Why are they like that?
Why can’t they see my part?
Why don’t they snoop?
Is it really I who stanch mistake?

The accusations they confer to me
The diatribe they’ve inflicted to me
The throbbing and despondent thoughts,
What in this world is wide of the mark to me?!

It’s mom that ended me what is me at this instant,
She molded me as any mother would do
But she’s diverse; she’s really poles apart.
Why are you like that mom?

I’m getting bushed giving my being preeminent
But still you can’t and don’t recognize
Any of my achievements;
How come it’s defunct like this? How come mom?

You enriched me with teaching
Erudition and acumen of thought;
You, for all time told me to do well,
You always told me to do so.

BUT with just a single blunder,
All the good deeds, all those things are ruined?
It’s so iniquitous mom!
It’s really unfair…

Emancipation, reverence and most of all,
Snoop to me mom, please…
I plead for you mom, please listen
To your son;

As if you’re holding me in my collar,
Pungent me from freedom;
Relenting me to you’re fear of bringing up the rear me
Trepidation that I may reiterate your history with dad;

I put in the picture you mom, with my intact heart; I won’t ever do that.
I won’t destroy my dreams and
I’m not that dim-witted enough
To tag along with such transgression;

You falsify me from experiences of youth;
You congested me in bearing in mind
More things that I covet to see.
Even just for a foretaste.

I’m telling you now
That we’re not that alike mom, we’re not.
If you’re scrutiny that I would get hitched
at an untimely age devoid of edifying accomplishment;

I will make a new history not based on your past
But through my own way of
understanding things about the world today
And not the world that passed away.

I can prove that I’m right.

I will…

BaNqUeT oF faLse EmoTioNs.,.

She tried her very best to leave but the louder she shouts to the whole world that she’ll leave me, the more that it’s hard to let go – why? Is it me that she draws upon with great amity? Or am I just a piece of her wanted nobody...answer me Mister Webster for they say you hold every definition to unanswered terms. Answer me so that I can end this brain-wasting fallacy? Mind me or not, it’s just the same. Do you understand this? This or these? Which word should I use to match up the other axioms that will confuse every reader reading this…

Tranquilizing every term that would sedate my heart to what I feel, please make me abscond from this fantasy, from this banquet of false emotion.

CoNfuSe"d" Me...

As every night ends, as every single drop of minute finish, I can’t even find the right words to render to you; I’m deeply confused, seeking what is right for everyone; for her, for them, and for myself… I seemingly cried. How come I ended up like this? Foreboding and full blast wrecked in love with you. Sometimes, the feeling of discomfiture nags me instilling to my mind that you don’t even care about me. That there are times that the sentiment you showed upon me makes me wonder and fonder.

Confuse me more and you’ll see my eyes leaking in the arms not of you…