FiRsT LoVe

First Love…

I’ve been to many relationships already, those mutual ones; I had even more know-how than my grown-up cousins when it comes to love drives and at all frankly speaking. It all started in my high school days when I first knock down in love to this gal whom I used to call as a friend. She’s syrupy, cuddly, and she’s taller than me. J I even hoist my head a little bit higher just to gaze at her. So funny to imagine but what makes it more comical is that when she hugs me, she would kneel her knees down to the floor then hugs me tight like a little boy. I was a freshman then when I first encountered my first ever liaison and my partner was senior student. At that time I was just a go-looking boy, just stays put in my seat, aloof and most of all silent. I prefer myself to be alone than to be with other boys there playing under the sun. But at the instance I met her, things began to adjust. I become skilled at how to fix my dangling hair, apply some perfumes on my clothes and I began carrying a handkerchief which before I really hate to bring. She really turned my world upside down, making an immense twist of my bulky head. Since then, we became close apiece to other. I, in next to no time learned how to deal things over when it comes to mutual drop a line to my opposite gender. Initially, it makes my heart quiver like a drum, even more when she caresses my crust. For everything that I never knew, she then makes me realize all those things. The “love” what they call, first stroked my naive and virgin spirit.

Nevertheless things went off beam! For the raison d'être that she’ll be graduating on that same year, she was left with no option but to abscond me. Months before her parting, she showered me with the preeminent of what’s paramount that has to be given and taken in a relationship. She sends mail and feelings of love to me, but I knew for myself that all of this would end. That the whole thing will amend, I don’t know if it’s for the better or the shoddier consequence. But one thing I discern, this will come to a finish. I was worried so much that for an instance, she faded. I observed to my sight that someone’s missing and I then knew that she was not almost on our campus. Upon knowing that she’s leaving before now, I tried my awfully best to arrive at their home seven miles away from where I was footing that split second. I used my bike to make it to the place even though the sun was raging up for it was lunch time. Unfortunately, everything was over… she left the place days before I knew she left, she left me.

She ended me to suffer the earliest diverse sentiment I ever felt in my heart, just in my heart and nowhere else. It’s like she ripped off my heart and squeezed it so stiff for all the blood to leak out. For God sake, I was profoundly impaired. L I became a lifeless psyche with an existing corpse. Day after day, I went back to our meeting place hoping she would come back. My mind flew everywhere and the thought of her drawn to the clear sky. I spent every day staring at the ceiling or at the window in my room. There came a moment that the love fallout to be anger. The question she left in the palm of my hand. WHY? What made you run off devoid of any assent from me? Why did you leave me? No day that came off, that my eyes were filled with tears and my heart aching and beating so heavily; such burden, such agony.

After a protracted due of time, it was July 25^th, my birthday when I received a letter from an unsigned. It was wrapped with a card which has writings of her. At first, I hesitated to get the letter but my wits and heart kept in disagreement about it. Until such instance that I obtain and read the letter:

“I’m sorry for leaving without any compliance, for hurting you so much. I was planning to meet you at our meeting place you know where it is. But my parents scolded and inhibited me from going to. I was afraid to tell you, in front of you that I would be leaving. I know you’re hurting still right now of what happened. The pain you’re having is the same pain that stabs my heart up to now. I miss you so much and even more. I wrote this letter with all sincerity thinking that you would suspect that I wrote just to tell you about my obscure farewell. I wrote this letter to let you feel that I’m still here…longing for your warmth, longing for your love. I don’t know if this is the right decision I’ve made; to love you still but this is one thing I know, I’m happy to love you. I’m not forcing you to love me back ‘coz I know distance we have would be a bit of a problem. There’s no assurance and there are many possibilities. I hope understand, I love you that’s why I’m setting you free now. Don’t worry I did not left because someone has replaced you in my heart, it’s just that it’s just the way it has to be. If in time you and I are still free and if it’s the right time, I won’t let you go away from my side. Goodbye for now. Goodbye my love…”

Greetings on your birthday…

Farewell,

Mary