ShE HoLdS mE TiGht...

She holds me tight, as if she doesn’t want someone to replace me in her heart…

Days of a young initiate relationship: At first, I have no scheme as what sort of person she is, I came to know her through text messages, phone calls and through untamed interpretations from close friends of her which is eventually my colleagues now. This was a year and a half ago; one of my friends used my cellular phone to text her high school classmate. Fortuitously, she forgot to erase the message and the number replied as I went home. A snap of acquaintance happened; we became attached through those messages we exchange until midnights. It soon became a part of my routine to leave a message for her; and I know she would always have a reply. We enjoyed the topics we’ve discussed not considering the time, everytime we have communication. It’s my first time to be texting until 4 o’clock in the morning. The chemistry soon formulized our bonding; it came to an instance that we have pet names of us solely.

I call her “munchkins” and she calls me “macaroons”; so funny at first ‘coz we were talking about foods one night. She always give me the floor to open up topics, she’s shy she said that’s why she doesn’t want to open topics first. She’s always the first person that would greet me good morning, she sends quotes for optimism ( But she’s not that optimistic, I know… ), she soon made my day complete. She always reminded to eat my meal well, to take care always and if I have time to text her; but we’re not into commitment. I did not attempt to be into courtship because she told me not to do so. I dwelled on the pain but something made me uplifted and pursue.

A negative motivation: “WHY should he call you munchkins? Why? Is he your boyfriend?” a friend of her squarely asked…

She told me about it: No thought came into my mind as I hear those blood-pricking words; I don’t know what to say… my mind became dumb, and my heart choking. I suddenly freeze on an instantaneous and left her unanswered. Days passed and she became fretful that no message from me did she receive. I can’t react on the question, I felt guilty…I don’t know why but the feeling was the same. It came to a point that I have no option but to promise not to call her by that name, even if it’s against my will.

We continued knowing each other and this time we started to have an eyeball. I was so excited then that for the first time after a long time we will see each other face-to-face. We can’t decide for an exact time for our meet so the opportunity slowly went away. But one afternoon, unpredictably, the event of looking her personally came into reality. She’s so gorgeous, naive, stunningly beautiful ( for me… ), and dazzling.

From then on, our meeting was followed by another. I tried my best to insert my time for her in my chaotic schedule. “If there’s a will, there’s always a way…” she started to like me. We joined together lunch breaks and even share the same food. I over and over again gazed at her, looking at her bright brown eyes. I often asked her if what she desires for a chap to be as finicky as ever. She told me not anything to have no idea as to what to do; meaning, she wants me to act as innate; she wants to see the real Christian Jay Cañeda without any concealing outfit. I have nothing to hide and what you see in me is already the real me. And that, she realized after a month of courtship ( Gee, my longest moment in time for courtship… ).

Now, this infantile liaison I hope would be the last… not expecting this to be a perfect one but I do anticipate that this would the right one. I hope that this would be strengthened as the years pass by, as the moments fade away, and as our age expire. We know that we love each other; I can see and feel it. She makes me feel it that way…

Of all the quotes I’ve read since the very beginning, I do believe this one:

“A man is lucky to win a woman’s first love,

but a woman is even luckier to win a man’s love the last…”