SoMebOdY's Me...

For the one I used to lay my life to…

For my beloved friend Lowill, for being an inspiration of this literary work…

The green lushes of the view reminded me of her, standing beside me telling me how she loved me so much, forever, for eternity. And now I’m here in this dreaded bench all alone and withered because of pain and misery. Why am I feeling this?? This unpleasant emotion of love I’m in to. The cold breeze kills me slowly, as I face reality that I will wake up every day with out no one on my side. She used to laugh at my jokes and would hold on my shoulders and sometimes even bit me. She’s so sweet and caressing so much but was like a plague that washes all this memories.

It traumatized my heart that from her lips the bitterest words I’ve ever heard in my entire life. It was just short but the effect it made into my heart was so long until now I’m still mourning on what happened. She stabbed my heart so badly that it bleeds like the love I poured into her for over a year. It was a year of happiness, contentment and affection; a year of unending dream with her. But I’m now hanging on what to do; I’m dashed between the test of time and the selfishness of my longing for her.

I love you no more… she evenly told me. That disgracing moment almost killed me. It made my heart stop for a second or more. That moment she told me so, it popped out from my mind the days she always told me that she loves me, that she will love me forever. Is this forever what you’re talking about? I go crazy thinking why it happened to us, how come that she fell out of love for me. I’ve been as good as ever to her, to our relationship. Damn her, I told myself as cry insentience. For her I tried not to cry, I tried to understand, I tried not to weep but it fuckin’ hurts. I build my world with her, because of her and for her.

Now I wake up everyday, senseless, useless and frantic. I seek an advice from a friend on what would be the best option on my situation. I’m lost in this wilderness I used to live in with her as my queen. I was humiliated of myself as I see my friend looking at me with pity. He told me how I was doing, if what would be my plan now… no word can explain how I feel. Losing her is like losing a battle hundreds of years you’ve been fighting for. But my friend stayed hushed, he started to sense the situation. Suddenly, he pointed at something.

“You see that little flower”, a puny little blossom tangled and destroyed not long that’s what he was pointing at. Then he became still… “Building a relationship is similar to planting an elegant type of flower. At the very beginning, you must strive hard to build a foundation of trust, understanding, and many other things and I presume you already know that. If you’re thinking that this will be the end of your relationship, I can probably say you’re wrong bai ’, this could be just a test for the both of you two. Just like a plant, if now that its branches are tormented down and nearly dead. Sooner or later, it will branch back again and bloom just as it bloomed before. There’s always a reason for every thing that happen to us, to all of us. Don’t put your world into chaos, damn!! There are still many things you need to know. Even the wisest person is still ignorant in some ways, so why grieve?? I’m just here; your friends are just here if you need someone to talk to.”

It touched a chord in my silent and bleeding heart, those words he mentioned to me… he’s like my mom scolding me while smiling. It relieves my nerve but it strokes my heart so bad, just so bad. I gasped heavily as thank my friend.

The wind blew differently; it was so heavy even my body can’t take a chance to move. I was steadily seating still in this bench we used to share. Just the two of us, just the affection we enjoyed together.

But as the days gone by, the months vanished and the years came alongside so easily, time seemed to cure the wounds in my heart. The pain and misery I used to succumb in my close-minded wits bruised my individuality to open new doors. If I stick to the same old feeling for her, it would be unhealthy for me to pursue. It came into my mind the chance of loving once again, of building a whole new world with someone whom I can share the rest of my life.

But suddenly, I saw “her” again…with someone new.